imbecile!

Sometimes I wonder how we can be so conscious of everything. I don't know why I always assume things should be of a grainy, ambiguous quality but it seems many things should, yet when we find ourselves in those very situations, those places, those moments; I expect the mind to shut up for a while, y'know? Or at least be overcome, or something. But it never does. Why is it always so clearly spelling out littles details and strings of descriptions and thoughts. Our minds can be so disruptive. See, I always imagined fainting to be an experience where you kinda snap out of it (which yeah, yeah you do) but I expect a loss of consciousness before losing actual consciousness. Does that make sense? No it doesn't but I swear I've got a point. Like for example, in the remaining seconds (when your eyes have lost sight, and your ears are excused of sound and you're falling face forward onto the floor) before you're about to faint, I thought the mind would be excessively cloudy and so full it's empty. You know the feeling? Like when you're heavy but light-headed at the same time or you're tired and alert at the same time? (If you want to try the latter, eat antihistamines while drinking coffee) But it didn't turn vacant, it kept up the chatter. "Whoa, I can't see, maybe if I keep blinking? Nope, still black. Crap man, being deaf is like being on a plane. Silence is dizzying, or maybe cause I'm dizzy already? Think I'm gonna faint. -Enter Loss of Conscious-" Guess the idea of being able to do things and experience the experience without all those constant thoughts trailing before and behind, is kind of romantic.  What a shame. But I guess that's what I don't get with realllly drunk people. So they know they're drunk right? But how do they "get all high and shit" if they know they're drunk, cause then won't it seem like they're not drunk if they know it? Or maybe alcohol just makes you an idiot who doesn't care? I don't know. Drunk people are annoying. I get so suspicious though, that everything is half due to 心理作用 (how do I translate this? Almost like 'mentally encouraged/stimulated' which only makes sense in this context). I frakking love chinese proverbs, except this one doesn't make sense now that I think about it, cause it's indicating a mental reaction but it uses the word 心/heart. Ehhhh. Okay, I should gogo like a fail yoyo otherwise I'll bounce back here. byeeeeeeeeeee.