Listening to this song again and it sounds like it's been singing the words all wrong. (How) The facts are there. The fact is that when people tell you to count, you assume one and one is two, the fact is when you're tired, you need rest. The fact is distance is an ocean, distance is not a space your feet can comprehend. Distance is being alone. So it seems silly that for a moment you tasted like a birthday party. Silly that for a moment I thought I had found a way to rest within another pair of rib cages. That for a moment I thought one and one could feel like one. And like a drunken person singing terribly gaily (with emphasis on the 'terribly'), I sunk in and out of the wine that was you.
i'm sorry i ever walked close because distance knows me more than closeness does
what is this?
what would you call it?
an "ascension"
but even then we couldn't define what 'more' would be, and we would never have slammed the brakes though we saw the signs, and the traffic lights flashed red like hearts under attack. and your sour aftertaste was the taste of grapes that hadn't ripened, and i wanted your flesh to be sweet even if not for my own mouth.
so i'm sorry (for the audacity)
i never meant any of the year that has passed us by
of text messages left waiting, and stories i couldn't find an ear for
of a together i couldn't be there for
what comes next i do not know but you can't bend my reality
i've got a fire in me that can't afford the price tag of waiting
and what we wished couldn't be conceived
so burn through and create what you now can
because i didn't grant you that chance,
you did
P.S
(mermaids never kick, because mermaids know how to swim)
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