"Some people would rather die than think. In fact, they do."

I usually favour things because of what they stand for. Like how I default like atheists (or the atheist aspect of people) because they represent rational thought, and many other things but that's not what I want to talk about. But there are so many people in my life who represent all the wrong things. They are essentially, the definition of blindness and conformity, of pettiness and lack of perspective. The school of thought you are conditioned to have, needs to be challenged for fuck's sake. How are people still not getting this? To me, if you stand for nothing I appreciate, then you mean nothing. And this is difficult to come to terms with because this is the majority. While blindness is my largest hate, I also hate selfishness. It is assumed that as human beings built with minds to execute our own personal well being and joy, we are selfish. Yet to function socially we have to dismiss this (for the most part) and develop relations and consider not only ourselves. But if you are utilising companionship with the base intention of reaffirming your own beliefs and being entirely ignorant to whom you are establishing this companionship with, then fuck off. I'm sick of sticking my brain in and out of unnecessary shit to better understand people I don't even understand why I'm bothering with. Perhaps I am expecting too much. I'm being told that I am being too intense for anyone's liking because people like to be comfortable, but I do not and will never aplogise for challenging parasite mentality. I hear people are always surprising others, I hear stories of how someone seemed like an absolute ape until they discovered a conversation  or a hidden blog that enlightened them, and they would think about the ape - "since when were you so brilliant?!". But I've had no such luck, so what the hell is going on. The realisation that my optimism is for myself and people "in general" but not the many in my life, is a sad and infuriating one. I'm not reverting back to 2011 but this is still something I have to learn to accept, not just acknowledge.

The miracle of consciousness, of human capability and thought, is completely wasted on you.

Title: *Bertrand Russell