Saturday 22 October 2011

miniature.

we worry our brain cells dead and rub our hands together until our skin wears thin, only to find that the solution is as simple as listening to ourselves. we are constantly in battle, weighing the problems of the world on one palm, and our willingness to erase them on the other. we've found so many remedies, but we colour them invisible and lose them. maybe i am slowly realising if good is both the result and the answer, then it doesn't matter how many hurdles we need to smash out of our way, good is good. let's skip misinterpretation and consequence and pride, and let caring breathe a little. if something means something then hear it, embrace it and overwhelm yourself. stare hard at your bones, feel their hardness, and crack them open to expose a waxy cocoon of confusion, interference. it shelters us from rain but droplets of gold (ray!) too, and what are we if ignore everything, what do we become? life is ours to discount. let's allow ourselves to spill and splash and seep into the cracks of what we believe. 

let bullets hit you and show them how you heal, and throw balloons of dried blood back at it. serve your shield on a platter and chuck it at a porcelain wall and paint that wall your favourite shade of fuschia, struggle as you chuckle and you'll know we're made of water; as tender as we are tough.

Monday 17 October 2011

GG just got cooler.

"this has been the best debut novel since Jonathan Safran Foer!"

now I have a proper excuse to watch this whilst drowning in a pool of shiny vanity and schemes.

Gem.

Today has been my do-nothing-day since..a few months ago? And I've been chewing and sucking the sweetness out of the day like I do with the flavour of salt and vinegar chippies. Sleeping in until 1:25pm, eating my insides sick, enjoying Waldorf cruelty and reminiscing days like yesterday; more time laughing, less time complaining. 

Discovery that unleashed my "smiley eyes" which apparently resemble two broken pointed fingers:

Now you're going to have a great(ly fattening) midnight snacketty snack.

x

Tuesday 11 October 2011

"You always zig when I think you're about to zag"

Seated in W46, I felt like my heart was about to explode out of my ears. There he appeared, in his ironic leather shoes and important words. He was honest and funny and kind and brutal. I'm so glad. He doesn't ever fail to reaffirm my faith in vegetarianism.

I guess I'm writing this to explain to those dear to me, cause otherwise you wouldn't be here, so listen.Vegetarianism isn't one of my experimental phases. It's not. And just to clarify, when I say "I'm vegetarian", I'm saying "I don't eat meat". I choose to use the term rather than the latter because saying "I don't eat x" makes people sound like whiny little shits, and I don't like that. 

Anyway, before you start forming arguments against vegetarianism, as you do, let me have a say. He said this - "We have to be careful about our terminology. We have to make sure we're referring to the problem." When people criticise vegetarianism, it's not directed at the problem, it's directed at the way in which we're using an effective solution. No one's against saving the environment; our planet, or being healthier. No one's against treating animals more ethically. What people are against are the labels. He's reiterated this point time and time again. There's a massive hypocrisy in choosing a selective diet, say for example, how I refuse to eat meat while I'm grasping onto a buttery, leather bag (Yep, love my leather). This is such a problem for someone who chooses not to eat meat i.e. 'vegetarianism', because we do use animal products and if we're not strict enough with ourselves, say, let slip a bit of chicken or whatever...then CHAOS. Finger pointing all around. "Oh, she's not a real vegetarian." "Yeah she ate meat..it lasted x months though" Why is vegetarianism all or nothing? It's not a bloody religion. Honestly, I don't give a shit if someone were to say those things to me, or question my persistence. That doesn't affect me, I know I'm doing what I want to be doing. That's what matters. But the truth of the matter is people are so quick to punish hypocrisy that others don't want to attempt it. It's not logical though. Let's apply this logic to another point, if a boat was sinking and you had 10 lifeboats and 20 people. Would you say to yourself "Ah, screw it. Can't save them all anyway. Let 'em all die."

No. 
(By the way, my solution to the hypocrisy that is apparent in my use of animal products is simply to live with it. I'll try to minimise that possibility but for me, I don't believe it's realistic to be without animal products at this point in time.)

You see, people have this misguided perception of people who are 'vegetarians' or 'vegans'. But "It's an aspirational identity. All we need to do is act on our values." And by this identity I mean we seek to be an individual who is humane, ethical, and concerned/proactive about global problems such as this. I was once told something that implied being vegetarian doesn't necessarily mean you're being 'deep' and doing the right thing. At least that was the jist I got out of it. Um, relevance? None whatsoever. How many assumptions had to be made for that statement to have been said? My beliefs don't concern animal rights, but health, humanity, the environment and animal ethics. (The difference being that I would eat animals if they were being farmed in a way that I perceive to be ethically correct.) Labels. Vegetarian = someone who doesn't eat meat. That's all. Why are there all these stupid implications attached to these labels? Or maybe it was cause it was me, but I thought I had implied enough, anyway, I don't care. But as was said before, why nit pick on the strict definitions of these labels? Surely, the point of this is because we essentially see something wrong behind the scenes? No one's doing this out of boredom.

"We have a different responsibility than our parents or even our grandparents did." This applies to my family. We have a different understanding of the world, a different food culture, and a different willingness to learn about the consequences of our dietary choices. But let's apply that grand saying - with knowledge comes great power! Except this power refers to our ability to make choices. Equipped with all the truth of factory farming, I choose not to be a part of it. "There is not a single person in the world who would rather that system to one in which animals are given proper food, shelter, space and ethical treatment." C'mon, I dare you. Say you would rather we torture the living and integrate that kind of filthy practice into our daily lives. You wouldn't, because you're human. Is that not important? And it's not even about the treatment of animals even more. It's about our future. Factory farms account for more greenhouse gases than everything else in the world combined. Yeah, global warming..kinda bad. Oh, and Mcdonalds, you might be grossly tasty, but those $1 cheeseburgers cost the environment about $100. Just trying to imagine (very, very, very vaguely) the impact of Maccas alone, is quite frightening. If we have knowledge, and the ability to do something about it, I think we should, and there's no real reason as to why we wouldn't want to.

We should stop being so infinitely terrified of being inconsistent.

If we all cut down on our meat intake, we'd be making a difference. What's the use of me donating towards ACF if I'm doing more damage than I'm paying to fix for? Well it accounts for something doesn't it? It's sticking a bandaid on 1 of a billion sores. In reality, every bit counts. That's why we take 5 minute showers right? I mean I don't hear anyone saying they'll refuse the usage of water because that's the most they can do. We don't always have the ability to be able to do our best, after all, food is part of our culture. If we all gave up because we couldn't do the most we could, then nothing would ever get done. But I think something needs to be done, it's a global issue. Countless times, people have said to me "Oh that sounds good..yeah I might read 'Eating animals' but I'm scared of becoming vegetarian". To me, that sounds like "..but I'm scared of doing what I think is right", which is weird. Just do it, man up and do it. Sure, some people are vegetarian/vegan police and will interrogate you but who cares, they're just shit for not summoning effort, responsibility and their own beliefs to be able to try.

Just some of the thoughts I wrote before I saw 'What we are and what we eat', that became more concise after. 

Alrighty nighty!

But anyway, side note. A strange little lady asked Foer an immensely long question about food and its relationship to spirituality, and about her experiences with meditation. To which, Foer simply replied - "I tried meditating once. But ...I found the idea of banishing thought, unpleasant." How brilliant.

Sunday 9 October 2011

Eat it.


I have this childhood related obsession with peaches. And I've never thought it necessary to talk about it because it's what I spent my eng. majorwork doing...yep, 7000 words relevant to peaches. But not the tiny little shits you get at Woolies. See, the peaches in Beijing during september are about the size of your heart, and swells your heart to about 5 times it's size, with overwhelming love juice (I am just referring to fruit juice here). It's probably one of the greatest things I've ever eaten, and the fact that I haven't had one in about ..6 years, made me all the more keen to shove a few boxes of these down. So when I arrived in Beijing, it was one of the first things I thought of. GOD DAMN PEACHES. So I got to my grandparent's house, and my grandpa's waiting outside the door with a peach in his hand. So cute, hah. I take it inside and cut it in half, and my mouth's suspended in accumulating saliva action, when I discover something wiggling, like a tiny little version of my finger. Hi, wormy thing. Not being "dude" enough to just flick it off and chomp my peachy delish down, I squealed "ew, There's a wormy thing!" but kept awkwardly holding the peach, positioning my fingers as far as I could from the greyish fleshy thing. Grandmahzah looked at me seriously, (and just for reference, my grandma is this pedantic little clean freak who is as picky with cleanliness/hygiene, as I am with books) and peered at Mr. wormy thing and said "You should eat it." I struggled to understand. "No." She looked at me with the same expression I imagine I looked at her with. We were so confused. She tried first. "You see, if there's a bug, it means the peach is sweet, and good. Eat it." I refused to listen. "It's a bug, a dirty, dirty bug." "Eat it." "..Okay."

She left the room and I chucked it out. All guilt.

Sunday 2 October 2011

F O C U S

At 3:30am I encountered my arbitrary "must clean up my life" mood. Results were productive. I managed to clean my entire wall, given it's not a huge space, but it was entirely filled with a messy, interpretative collage of my thoughts. No more pretty prints, posters, hand drawn pictures from the kids, strips of quotes or photos of things I love. Anyways, now there's nothing but a corkboard and my main focus; yes, the word, focus! I also cleaned up my camera and computer. No useless files or files in the wrong places, things are now correctly and consistently labelled. Apparently, that matters.


I'm secretly a person who thirsts for organised desks and colour coded systems and everything to be categorised. I'm just incredibly lazy is all. Okay, no more, munching on strawberries and waving goodbye! goodbye!